Granger Smith

Granger Smith on How Son’s Death Changed Him: ‘I’m Going to Forgive Myself, but I’m Not There Yet’

Granger Smith
@grangersmith Instagram

It’s been a year since Granger Smith lost his 3-year-old son, River, to a drowning accident, and the country singer now says,

“I feel like I’ve died” — and, he adds, “It’s not a bad thing that that ‘me’ died. In fact, I think it’s all good. It’s only good.”

The 40-year-old Texan tells PEOPLE he feels like he’s

“truly shed layers. I feel wiser. I feel more in tune spiritually. I feel more aware of our present moment and the value in the present moment, the value in the current breath that we have.”

Still, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t trade this hard-won rebirth in a heartbeat to have a different outcome to the darkest day of his life.

The evening of the accident, June 4, 2019, Smith was playing in the yard of their home outside Georgetown, Texas, with River, his brother Lincoln, now 6, and sister London, now 8, while his wife, Amber, took a shower inside. As his attention turned to his older kids, Smith didn’t notice as River somehow breached the pool fence gate’s child-proof lock and headed into the water.

“It’s not like the movies,” says Smith. “To comprehend that you could lose someone to drowning 20 feet from you doesn’t make any sense unless you know how that process works and that it’s so silent. There isn’t splashing or gurgling or kicking. There wasn’t even a splash going in.” 

Read more from this article on People.com.

View this post on Instagram

So @amberemilysmith posted this pic from today. I read her caption. I’m blown away (again) by her testimony. I literally asked her…can you send me that pic and that caption? I wouldn’t change a word of it. . Life is fragile and precious. Take the photos, but also be in the moment. Eat the cake, but also take care of your health. Dare mighty things, turn the music up and dance, say I love you. Pray about everything and try to worry about nothing. Think before you speak or type. Lift people up. This world will knock you down a time or 2 (or 10). Get back up. Keep fighting the good fight. Be happy for others, even when things may be hard for you. Try making God the first person you talk to before you start your day. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Love fiercely and choose joy anytime you can. Romans 12:12 ❤️🦋

A post shared by Granger Smith (@grangersmith) on

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